Series: Love, Marriage, and the Baby Carriage
Sermon: Fight for Your Marriage
Scripture: Proverbs 15:1, Matthew 7:3-5, James 1:19
Review
This week, we focused on Fighting for Your Marriage by learning how to handle conflict in a way that builds up rather than tears down. Conflict in marriage is unavoidable, but how we respond to it determines whether we are fighting in our marriage or for our marriage.
Proverbs 15:1 says, "A gentle answer turns away anger, but a harsh word stirs up wrath."
This verse acknowledges that conflict will arise, but it gives us the power to decide whether to diffuse or escalate the situation. In marriage, we have a choice: We can respond with wisdom or react in a way that causes more damage.
Jesus' teaching in Matthew 7:3-5 challenges us to stop focusing on changing our spouse and instead start changing ourselves. Research confirms what Jesus taught 2,000 years ago—happy marriages are not the result of couples who fight less or fight about different things, but of couples who focus on controlling themselves rather than their partner.
The key to fighting for your marriage is:
Take responsibility for your own actions, attitudes, and responses.
Shifting from “I am right, and I will prove it” to “Something is wrong, and we will fix it.”
Recognizing unhealthy communication habits (criticism, contempt, defensiveness, and stonewalling) and replacing them with self-control and grace.
James 1:19 reminds us to be "quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to anger." Applying this in conflict can radically change the course of a marriage.
Apply
When conflict arises in your relationships (marriage, dating, family, friendships, work), do you tend to focus on proving yourself right or finding a solution?
What unhealthy communication patterns (criticism, contempt, defensiveness, stonewalling) do you recognize when interacting with others? How can you replace them with self-control and wisdom?
In moments of tension, where do you need to shift from trying to control others to taking responsibility for yourself?
What is ONE step you will take this week to fight for healthier relationships by focusing on your own responses instead of trying to fix others?
Pray
Ask God to help you guard your heart with wisdom in your marriage. Pray for patience, humility, and self-control in conflict. Ask Him to show you where you need to take responsibility for your own actions and to help you fight for your marriage instead of against your spouse.
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